Responding to Abuse Disclosure
It’s hard to know what to say when a child, youth or adult discloses a history of abuse to you. Here are some suggestions you can use to talk to the individual.
Remember, when you are talking with a victim, it is NOT your job to investigate the crime. Leave that to the authorities.
You are there to provide protection, comfort and a tangible sign of God’s grace to a hurting child of God.
Helpful Responses to Abuse Disclosure
- Tell me more.
- It wasn’t your fault.
- No child ever deserves to be abused.
- I believe you.
- God didn’t cause you to be abused.
- I’m so sorry that happened to you.
- You are not a leper.
- I don’t know what to say or do to help, but here is a name of someone who can.
- God loves you and so do I.
- I will never hurt you.
- You are safe here.
Hurtful Responses to Abuse Disclosure
- What did you do to deserve that?
- Spare the rod, spoil the child.
- No way!
- He/she really didn’t mean to hurt you
- It was for your own good.
- Surely you misunderstood,
- It was all in your imagination.
- Forgive and forget.
- That was then, this was now.
- Get over it.
- This, too, shall pass.
- Did you like it?
- __________would NEVER do anything like that.
- You ought to be ashamed of yourself accusing Mr./Mrs. _______ of such a horrible thing!
- That would never happen here.
- I don’t want to talk about it!
- If we make this public, it will break up your family.
- Honor your father and mother.
- It was God’s will.
- There is a reason God caused you all this suffering.